Swear on This Life

“Sure.”


I slid into the far backseat. It felt like I was riding the school bus again, but Jax wasn’t there to hold my hand. Mrs. Keller and Sophia talked about school. Although I think the Kellers tried very hard to maintain a sense of reserve and formality, I could sense a bond between Mrs. Keller and Sophia. It made me happy for her. She deserved it.

Later that night, Sophia told me more about the Kellers.

“They have a son, Liam. He’s a hotshot lawyer in New York. I guess Mrs. Keller tried to have another baby for a long time but couldn’t. That’s why she does this.”

“Does Liam ever come to visit?”

“On holidays and stuff, but he doesn’t really hang out with the foster kids.”

“What about money?”

“What about it?”

I was thinking about how I could get money to call Jackson after school. “Do the Kellers give you an allowance?”

She laughed. “Yeah, right!”





7. Talking


“Go! Go! Go, baby!!” Trevor yelled at the TV and then leapt to his feet. “Woohoo!” He did a ridiculous touchdown dance while screaming at the top of his lungs. I looked up from my book and sniffled.

Cara peeked her head out of her room. “Keep it down, you big oaf!”

“Hey, Avril Lavigne, why don’t you go find an open mic night somewhere?” I looked up from my book and marveled at how casually he teased Cara. Why didn’t Trevor and I have that same kind of playful dynamic? In fact, why didn’t I have that with anyone? The last person I’d been that close to was Jase.

Cara came up to the back of the couch and leaned over to look at me, smiling. “I never get his insults.” She paused. “Wait a minute, are you crying?”

“No,” I squeaked.

“Trevor, your woman is sitting here bawling her head off and you’re over there dancing around like a fool?”

I laughed through my tears. “I’m crying because of the dancing.”

In a low voice, Cara said, “Seriously, are you okay? Come talk to me.” Then she shook her head at Trevor and walked away.

Trevor came toward me with a look of faint concern. “Why are you crying—for real, Emi?”

I sat up and he sat down next to me. “I was just thinking about this little girl and these three little boys I was in foster care with.”

“You were in foster care? I thought your aunt adopted you when your parents died.”

I took a breath. “My mom and dad aren’t dead, Trevor. At least, my dad isn’t.”

He looked shocked. Of course he would be. I had been lying to him. “Where are they now? Why’d you go to live with Cyndi if your parents are alive?”

I took a deep breath. “My mom took off when I was ten. I don’t know where she is. And my dad’s in jail, I think. At least, he used to be.”

Trevor looked stunned. “For what?”

“Felony child abuse and neglect,” I said, trying hard not to make eye contact. If I saw pity on Trevor’s face, I would lose it.

“Wow, Emi. So he really beat you up?”

“He did the last time. Jase too, kind of.” I took another deep breath. “You know what? Maybe it’s not such a bad idea for you to read the book when I’m done. It’s fictionalized, but it’ll give you a good idea of what I went through as a kid.”

Trevor sank down next to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. “I’m really sorry, Emi. I wish you’d felt like you could have told me this a long time ago. You never talked about your past, and I didn’t want to push. I figured your parents were good people and that you were an orphan, not abused and neglected.”

I rested my head against his shoulder. “I’m sorry I lied to you. You really didn’t deserve that.” And I meant it. It was despicable that I had lied to him. “When we met, I was telling everyone they were dead. It was just easier that way. It’s hard for me to relive what I went through, but as I read Jase’s book, I’m forced to face it all again. It’s not easy.” I set the book down on the floor. “I think I’ve had enough for tonight.”

He squeezed my shoulder. “You know what’ll take your mind off that book?”

“What?” I asked hopefully.

“A Cal victory.” He jerked a thumb toward the TV. “Wanna watch with me?”

My heart sank for a moment. Trevor always took what I said at face value; he wasn’t the type to wade into emotional territory if he didn’t have to. Just one of the many reasons why it had been so easy to lie to him all those years ago.

I gave him a weak smile. “Sure.”


HOURS LATER, AFTER Cal won, we jumped up from the couch and ran through Cara’s door shouting, “Go Bears!” She sat at her desk, watching us with a smile.

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